Reoccuring Dreams

I dreamed again of being back in school
of having skipped classes
of being late
of having no idea what my class schedule was
and of disappointing my parents

I have had this dream dozens of times since high school
and also dropping out of college

I have also had these themes of dreams analyzed

These dreams are troubling
and I cant seem to rid my inner self of them
despite the reassurances I give myself in real life

I do take my dreams too personally

Once and I believe once
I had this theme dream
that offered what I thought was closure
only to have this theme of dream return
with the same basic facets

The back of the mind
tries to speak to the front of the mind
and nary the two get along
ignoring the comfort of mattress
fleece sheets
pillow and blanket
and dozing off in front of ones computer monitor
in comfy chair

Christmas 1968

The tail end of the year
was concluding on an upbeat note
even though the new year would see Nixon inaugurated as President

However we had the balls to circle the moon
with no certainty of getting back

My big brother John was still in the service
I had a part beagle part dachshund named Tiny for a pet

Christmas was warm and fuzzy
with a Grandpa on the Shockley side
and a last Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa on my mom`s Burnham side

On Christmas Eve the Astronauts read from the book of Genesis
and spiritualists everywhere felt something deep inside
with the thought of the vision of that big blue marble
viewed while orbiting the moon

It was a year in which MLK and RFK were shot
equal tragedies and equal unrest
two newspapers a day and three television networks
to document this evolution

I remember purchasing a transistor radio
for my brother as a gift
it was a prequel to my love of radio
and eventual career in that field
I remember nine volt batteries
you could test their strength with your tongue

We had orange colored electric candles
to put in the windows of our home
on Southwest eleventh street
I loved the colored glow they would emit

I also loved the little brown fragile
nativity scene that we would put up
always taped together with scotch tape
on a bed of cotton ball snow

Over the river and through the woods on Christmas Day
to Grandmothers house we would go
her name was Mamie
Grandfathers name was John Pearl
my other Grandfathers name was Harry Wingfield

How I loved to play in the snow
and explore an old barn that is no more
and its ancient secrets and musty smells

All of these parts of my childhood
have influenced me and the words that I write and remember

The rip and tear gift openings on Christmas Eve
so quickly we opened gifts
how swiftly we reached the point
where we settled back to watch home movies

Each Christmas to this day I look at the sky
searching for that Christmas star
that bright shining star high above my backyard

These feelings are why I always long to Christmas in Des Moines
no matter how old I am
or who is left or is not left

I am the glow of those electric orange candles
I am the softness of that cotton ball bed of snow
I am the message that the Astronauts read to the world
that Christmas Eve 1968

A Glorious Day For The Chiefs

A day for a sea of red and white and gold
with all due respect to the Packer fans

But a black cloud has hung over the franchise
since December 25th of 1971
when they lost to Miami in double overtime
and the sun has shone seldom since

But one can dream
and hope springs eternal

I Ate All The Frosted Pretzels

All these chocolate temptations overcame me
I would settle for steamed brocolli and carrots
but alas

I found myself on the street again
begging for the price of
a couple of delicious Arby`s Beef and Cheddar
sandwhiches

I had to hawk all of my collection
of white tube socks to get the job done

Cheese sauce and white tee shirts
don`t mix

The Motivation To Shop For Christmas

The scoreboard reads:

Lazyness 7 Motivation 0

Why is it so difficult to reach back
and kick your own self in the ass

Why do we treat ourselves
with such kid gloves

Why can`t some people behave so brutally
with a shopping cart

Why is so hard to wrap up a poem of love
a sheet of paper

Can you frame good intentions
does nostalgia grow on trees

Hi-Q

To this day I remember so many things
about a grocery store called Safeway
at Southwest Ninth and Leland
on the south side of Des Moines
where I grew up

There was a 15 cent pop
vending machine
that sold a brand of soda
no longer in existence
called "Hi-Q"
there was a drinking fountain right next to it
that had properly chilled water
talk about a long tall cool drink of water

It was the neighborhood grocery
store of the late sixties
and early seventies

They sold triple packs of potato chips
in a large cylindrical package with a lid
the package was large enough
to cut out room for a large visor hole
and to be used as an astronaut helmet
in the months after the moon landing

This was an era in which the Pillsbury company
marketed a product called
"Space Food Sticks"
they were glorified flavored Tootsie Rolls
however you combine them with Tang
you have one hell of an imaginary space adventure
perhaps far greater than reality

This is where I bought my first football cards
when they came with a stick of actual bubble gum
a combination poster and game sheet
and a football game card
man I spent a lot of allowance money on those things
after I got my first tape recorder
I would use the cards to broadcast imaginary NFL games
perhaps far greater than reality

It was dawn of a processed potato chip product
called Chippos
which vanished into thin air
it was a General Foods product
and while Pringles a Proctor and Gamble effort has survived
all these years
somehow the protestations of the regular potato chips manufacturers
and there paranoia
drove Chippos to the grave of spuds
because it was in a cardboard box with a foil
inner packaging

It does my heart glad
to be able to wax poetic
about the neighborhood grocery store
of my childhood

The reality is that Safeway's at least in Des Moines
are no more
like so much from that era
Safeway eventually moved down the street to
Southwest Ninth and Park Avenue
then got bought out by Super Value
who eventually ended up in La La land

The building is still there
having morphed into
one thing after the other

However you can`t take away my memories
after all nostalgia grows on trees
and it is for us to reach up
pull off a piece of fruit
and munch on it

The Idyllic Summer

As you look back in time
sometimes you just want to reach your arms
around your own self imagined
conjured memories
and hold onto them for as long as humanly possible

Summertime

too many cans of Doctor Pop were consumed
empties rattling around
with that familiar sound
as they crash to the floor and roll playfully

back and forth the man
and the love of his life
went to rehearsal and back again
such innocent love
that I cannot hold it inside me
its emotion must be expressed
and it`s tears of joy must be allowed to spill

Its tragic enough that I can only begin to express
how I feel about this situation

If I could just be a fly on the wall
and take in the goodness of it all

Ah the music and the theatre
so blessed just to get glimpses of it
to be able to play a few songs on the jukebox
and feel the rhythm in my soul

(chirping birds in spring time
croaking frogs along the riverbank
the breeze of the day
suppresses the heat of the sun
the amount of rain
causes the grass to grow quickly

the dog plays in the dog park
to him without other dogs
to play in the park
is one big kennel
outside of the territorial ism
of peeing

I love the breeze
I love the quiet
I love the birdsong)

The reality of the poetry of this title
The Idyllic Summer
was that summer ended
the couple vacated their summer apartment
(which was furnished no less)
and broke up
busted by the frustrations of a long distance relationship

These are the perceptions of a foolish old man
unwilling to accept
to deal with
reality
and willing to spin it
like everyone else
to their own image and likeness

It was just one long
jaded poem
it was a dance and a half